As we youths get older, the influence of parents wanes, and the desire to be independent, popular and accepted by peers grow stronger, others simply feel the need to talk with someone who understands or who makes them feel loved or needed. When this communication is lacking at home – as often the case they seek it among their associate, often times, lack of self-confidence and feeling of insecurity causes some people to be vulnerable to their friends’ influence.
There’s a proverb that says: “by iron, iron itself is sharpened. So surrounding yourself with good people will definitely make you to be good. There are plenty of things you can do to ensure you have a quality relationship. Too often, people try to have as many friends as possible which is not necessarily good; they think and love the idea that so many people love them.
As I always tell my client that “it is the quality of the company you keep that matter most, not the numbers and volume of it.
Now there are these questions that I often receive from some folks, like: how can I know the good people, how can I know the ones that trust me and the ones I can trust and feel comfortable with, how do I know if a fellow love me? Find answers and ways below!

Get to Know People: knowing people is another bold step in surrounding yourself with good individual because it is so difficult to live in isolation, infact, it is impossible. You can do this through children’s’ activities, by just walking around your neighborhood; be part of what goes on in your community, search for events and attend to some in order to be able to meet people. In your work places, pay attention to someone who is positive and seems like a good person, take the time to approach her/him in other to know each other.

Communication: one of the things that will help you in creating good associates and happy relationships is communication. Listen more and talk less and you will feel good the way you feel. We are unique individuals with different worldviews and perspectives. We must not be on concord with those we love all the time but we can be respectful to our differences. Do not allow assumptions and misconceptions be an obstruction to your relationship with people. Be open and honest about yourself, who you are and what you want. Tell the truth even when it is difficult and you will be a happier person.

Make Efforts: Relationships need time to build, so don’t be in a rush to go deep. Give the relationship time to grow and flourish. Don’t be a wallflower who waits for others to approach them. Make an effort to smile and be friendly. As I always tell folks who come closer to be, yes every one of us has the tendency to be shy, but lets us always learn to approach those we feel we like boldly with an open mind, open up to them, exchange pleasantries and if possible, admire them and let them know what and how you feel. If he /she is a positive thinker, you have met a good friend. So always make effort to meet first if possible.

Personal Contact is a welcome idea: while social media is fun, it has changed the way people interacts. I can’t vividly remember how many times I met some person on social media and requested for personal contact; the feedback wasn’t encouraging at all. In other to be happy some personal contact is also a very important idea. While sms is simple and convenient, don’t rely on it all the time. Make phone calls to hear each other’s voice. Have some time outside your comfort zones to make valuable interactions. You will make good people and happier if you learn this part.

Give Help, ask for Help: there is this saying that “a friend in need is a friend in deed” be a good friend and family member too. Don’t just go for others only when you need them; go to them also when they need you. Be willing to reciprocate by giving help when needed. Though it might depend on the circumstance, you may be able to render help or do something positive for them without even being asked.

Always learn to ask for help conveniently when you need it. Remember, there will be a time when things become so difficult. Is it better to ask swallow pride and ask for help or to die in pain out of pride? Answer for yourself. There are times you can rely on friend and family to get you out of trouble and rough patches of life. They may have the solutions that you don’t have. There is this saying in my local dialect that says: 
“e kpee oria mkperemkpere ya alaa ososo” which could mean in English: tell your sickness to other, it goes faster, in other words, when you open up your problems to your friends and families there will be a fast remedy to it. Positive and good people must think of solutions. Remember, there are paths in life that you cannot walk alone.

Cut out from Negative People:  just because someone has been your friend for a very long time doesn’t mean they deserve to be. One of the most difficult parts of being happy is letting go. If you have friends and family, involved in intimate relationship or you feel that someone is taken an advantage of you then you need to severe those ties. Yes, it sounds simple, but it might nog going to be easy as it sounds, but this is going to be a very wide step toward happiness and at the end you will be very proud that you made such step and decision. The same thing applies to your co-worker, employer that you don’t feel have quality relationship or feel comfortable working with.

Yes! Before I drop my pen, do you want to be wise and happy? Then watch whom you surround yourself with. Seek out the friendship of God-fearing, wise and positive people who will support you and help you to develop. Some people have unquestioningly joined bad companies and they ended up slaves and unhappy people. In all you do in life, in choosing your career, your job, are you planning to get married? Always choose the company of good people. Growing up is not an easy task. Yet ironically, if you try to avoid pains by refusing to be unhappy, you can seriously hinder your chances of becoming happy, responsible and mature adult.

Does my message help you? Drop your comment in the comment section and endeavor to share it for the benefit of others.

need the help of a life coach?
send mail: stephenwise.life@gmail.com
Call/whatsapp: +639100576577


  1. Make effort to connect with people in a personal level. This is what's lacking now a days and we should approach people not just to talk but to know more about the them.


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