SEN ELISHA ABBO’S INABILITY TO CONTROL HIS ANGER, A CALL FOR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TO NIGERIAN YOUTHS by StephenWise

couple of days, there have been a viral video of a cctv footage, showing Elisha Abbo (youth), a senator of the federal republic of Nigeria, representing Adamawa North senatorial district, physically assaults a woman(youth) in a sex shop in Abuja.

Yes! So many people have condemned his action. The IGP ordering for his arrest, according to some national daily in Nig. But the question is: what lesson could the Nigerian youths and other youths all over the world learn from this, especially those aspiring to serve the public either in politics, religious, or any other human institution in the future?

In my opinion, I think this is a clarion call on all the youths to embrace Emotional Intelligence. What do I mean by this? I mean, as a youth, one need to seat and reflect on his or her emotions and uses of your emotions… ask others for perspective… be observant… use “the pause” … explore the “why” … embrace criticism instead of taking offense… and practice continuously.

Are you a leader, or aspiring to be a leader? Emotional intelligence should be the first quality that qualifies you as a leader. It is not only important, but expedient. In fact, a leader’s level of EI actually affects her/his ability to be strong and decisive.

I hope you gain value from this and learn to understand the ways you can influence your mind, and the minds of others, by growing emotionally every day, in all that you do.

Empathy:

“Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, i.e., the capacity to place oneself in another’s position.” There are two types of Empathy, namely, ‘“Affective empathy” refers to the sensations and feelings we get in response to others’ emotions; this can include mirroring what that person is feeling, or just feeling stressed when we detect another’s fear or anxiety. “Cognitive empathy,” sometimes called “perspective taking,” refers to our ability to identify and understand other peoples’ emotions.’

We empathize based on the reaction to others. empathy could also be cultivated and learned through experiences. Store away in your memory those feelings that you feel both in reaction, and as you put things in perspective. Write these thoughts out, analyze them and determine how you want to treat others in the same way you’d want to be treated.

Self-Awareness

in my book “You Too Can Be Happy” pages 116 -122, I wrote, 

“The answer to human condition lies in understanding our lives. Our primary error is to mistake ourselves for our body, or even ear, mind or egos. Our real self lies beyond those limited factors of identity, and it’s boundless, infinite, pure reality, consciousness and bliss”. 
click here https://www.amazon.com/You-too-can-Be-Happy-ebook/dp/B07P6RKKM7/ to get a copy

Self-awareness is the art of understanding yourself, recognizing what stimuli you’re facing and then preparing for how to manage yourself both in a proactive and reactive manner. Self-awareness is how we see ourselves, and also how we perceive others to see us. The second, external aspect, is always the most difficult to properly assess.

“Leaders who focus on building both internal and external self-awareness, who seek honest feedback from loving critics, and who ask what instead of why can learn to see themselves more clearly — and reap the many rewards that increased self-knowledge delivers.” - Dr. Tasha, Eurich.  

Ask yourself the introspective questions, long for knowledge and be curious.

Adaptability:

Emotionally intelligent people recognize when to continue their course, and when it’s time for a change. This vitally important recognition and ability to make crisp, swift decisions in your best interest is called adaptability. You must determine when to stay the course, or when to keep moving forward in another direction.

“Adaptability is not imitation. It means power of resistance and assimilation.”

 — Mahatma Gandhi

Cognately, when one blueprint is not working, try evaluating and determining if something else will work. From the way you treat yourself, to how you treat others, to your daily routine, be open-minded night and day, and be willing to adapt and introduce new elements to how you think and what you do.

Positive Radicality:

Supposing we all knows what being radical means. Look at it from the positive perspective, politically, it gives birth to a term “Political Radicalism”. Those who are intelligent about their emotion always embrace political radicalism. You will always maintain fundamentals. You will not be self-centered or be so identity minded. Fredrick Douglass maintained “those who profess to favor freedom and yet depreciate agitation, are people who want crop without ploughing the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning; they want the ocean without the roar of its many waters. The struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, or it may be both. But it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without s demand. It never did and it never will”.

In this article, I will encourage every Nigerian youth to recognize and emulate individuals like Femi Fani-Kayode (FFK) and Senator Dino Melaye (SDM) of our time. These, for me, are the people who embraced the idea of political radicalism to the core. These are people who fears not to say, but they respect the law.

Desire to Help Others Succeed and Succeed for Yourself

An emotionally intelligent person is interested in overall success and achievement — not just for themselves, but for their peers. Their inspired leadership and passion, combined with their optimism, drives them to want to do best for themselves AND others.

Ability to differentiate between Needs and Wants

The emotionally intelligent mind is able to discern between things that they need versus things that would be “nice to have” that classify more aptly as wants. A need, particularly in the context of Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs,” is the basic-level stuff like safety, survival and sustenance. Once those things are met, then we can progress to other needs and of course, wants.

A “want” is a big house, nice car, and even the brand new iPhone. We do not need those things to survive, but rather we want them based on our own personal desires or what we perceive to matter to society. Become well-versed in knowing what you truly need to to live, to accomplish goals and to support yourself and loved ones. Make sure you draw a very clear distinction between what it is you need, and what it is you want.

Emotionally intelligent people know the difference between these two things, and always establish needs prior to fulfilling wants.

Passionate

Last but not the least, Inspired leadership and love for what you do is born from having a passion for a subject or people. People with a high EQ use their passion and purpose to ignite the engine that drives them to do what they do. This passion is infectious and contagious — it permeates all areas of their lives and rubs off on the people around them 

Conclusion:

In conclusion, it is quite obvious that positive minded people, people of good moral condemns always ill-mannered acts; and the act of the so-called senator of the federal republic of Nigeria is a condemnable one. The good youths feel disappointed while the bad ones will eulogize him. The old grey headed leader will mock the youth who are clamoring for chances to for some political offices. But, there are still emotionally intelligent youths, youths who are morally groomed and family oriented, youths who pass through education and education passed through them. We are ready to serve our nation. We are ready to fight and lead our nation to a standard that every citizen will